PornHD8k

Porn HD 8K. is this real? Well, greetings from Pornland. I am writing to you from the future. Most of us are still intoxicated by stale 4K HD, but in the last 3,001 years we've got something better. Maybe after a thousand more years of frozen brains, cocks and fists, we will experience it first hand. Or you can check out PornHD 8k.

All joking aside, free porn tubes with only 8k clips are a tall order. Most sites have at least a handful of regular HD movies, but they're mixed in with piles of regular vids and trashy defunct vids, and I'm skeptical that PornHD8k can really deliver.

Porn of the future, today.

Now, this technology is not really from the future, but it is really fucking new: 8K sounds like twice as many pixels as 4K, but it is actually four times as many. This is the next generation level of clarity and realism, the closest thing to cumming on an actual porn star. If you've just finally upgraded to 4K, you're probably feeling like a bitch right about now.

Before that, you just spent $4,000 on a new monitor, didn't you? With an investment like that, it's no wonder your monthly fuckflick budget is getting tighter.

It's a bit ironic, or funny, or pathetic, that someone would surf free tubes in search of smut that can only be seen on a high-end machine. I am not going to judge you for that. Not to mention that if you're still into toaster phones, that choice alone makes other tube sites a better choice, unless PornHD8k is lying about their quality.

I have seen enough porn tubes to know that some of you chumps just don't care about video resolution. I looked at one site just the other day and every video looked like someone recorded it on their phone from a TV and ran it through a Nintendo entertainment system. The whole thing looked like crap, but those bastards are getting 11 million hits a month.

PornHD8k doesn't even have 500,000 hits; maybe because it's a newer piece of work that came online at the end of 2017. But it's probably better that it's new. Half of you perverts didn't even know there was 8k porn until recently.

Maybe it's because the dot net domain isn't their first, and the fact that PornHD8k.me redirects here tells me something is wrong. Unless you want to try your luck with aggressive spam, stay away from Dotcom.

A casual onanist might think "what the heck", but as an experienced creep I have seen this sort of thing time and time again. If there are a lot of redirects in regards to your domain, you are most likely playing a little game with Google.

Say what you want about Google. Seriously. Everything you say will be put back into the big computer brain that has learned to control your life and take all your money. That said, they may try to protect you from shady sites because they will ultimately make Google look bad. Be careful where you don't play well with gatekeepers.

So what is Google's problem with PornHD8k? It could be spam. Or it could be the fact that polishing a Porn pole from the future might throw the very structure of the space-time continuum out of whack. The only way to know for sure is to take a really good look while masturbating furiously.

This looks promising.

The site's home page looks pretty decent. It is simple with your basic porn tube layout, streamlined and plain text on a black background. There is a night mode button, but it doesn't seem to do anything other than refresh the page.

PornHD8k is not a flashy site, but it is pretty. If you're the kind of chucklehead who browses porn sites without an ad blocker, you might not. Mine says it has already punched down 4 spam, but I just got in.

Of course, a certain amount of spam is to be expected on any free site. It depends on how much you are willing to put up with. Many of us are willing to put up with more crap if there are top notch bitches on world class smut. So they are, too.

From the front, the PornHD8k looks like it has the goods. The thumbnails are all crisp and clear, although they don't move when you hover over them. All clips are labeled HD to avoid confusion. The newest one is at the top and it looks like they are adding 2 clips a day.

This seems premium. The two clips added today are both from Brazzers; Karmen Karma gets pounded by her brother-in-law from Real Wife Stories and Sherdian Love bends over to catch a hard cock from Pornstars Like it Big.

Yesterday's clip is also from Brazzers. And the ones from the day before and the day before that. There seems to be a bit of a theme. It's possible these are sample clips, but it's also possible that this site is having Google issues and we may know why.

Stolen car fistfights.

The thumbnail on the home page showed a woman with dark hair wearing only socks and sneakers, nailing it at the gym. I like to imagine what my workouts look like, but most of the time I just get beaten up or arrested. Someday I hope to find the right gym, but until then I always click on this scene first.

It's the Big Wet Butts scene from Brazzers starring Keiran Lee and it's 30 minutes long. This is definitely not a sample.

The scene "Workout Sex Club" plays in a simple built-in player. You could watch that body moving in slow motion all day long with its trivial weight, and Keiran has this tight little package with extra junk in just the right places that shakes out perfectly during the intro warm-up.

Players are super basic, so you can't slow down the jump ropes any further or make them splash water on your chest at normal speed. You can go full screen and adjust the picture quality, but that's it.

The picture quality looks good when in full screen, but I had problems with buffering. It took a long time to start, and during the blowjob the key run had to pause and wait for the video to load. So I hit the quality button and checked the options.

Is this the HD 8K you are looking for?

I have left my film at a store called Jimmy's One Hour Photo. I chose this store because of its name and because I was in a hurry to revive the memory of my girlfriend's sneak peek I had taken earlier that day, and when I came back to pick it up an hour later, it still wasn't ready.

"That's our name," he told me. I had to call my girlfriend at work and have her come to my house for an emergency vaginal exam, all because of Jimmy's lies.

PornHD8k.net is doing the exact same thing. Turns out I was watching that Big Wet Butts video in 720p. I could have lowered it in hopes of better streaming, but I could not raise it to 1080p, let alone 4K. Even if they had 8K, the streaming would be so slow that it would be completely useless.

And there was also a lie about downloads. 'Download' is the first word in the tab's keyword-stuffed title, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

PornHD8k is not a bad site. It has a small but full length collection of premium scenes, all free with an interface that cleans up nicely with an ad blocker. However, they lied about the quality of the videos in the site's name. If that doesn't offend you and you're ok with 720p, you can definitely smash a few boxes of tissues on PornHD8k.